Mera Life Mahaan

New Happenings

2009-02-17T23:53:00.002+05:30

The month of Feb so many new advents. Kushal and Arya have started guitar lessons at Yamaha on Sat afternoons. They are 2 lessons down and are greatly enjoying. They have different timings but the same teacher, so mostly the homework is going to be the same. I have signed up for Spanish lessons on Monday evenings, starting next Monday, with Vani and Nikita. Think it's going to be great fun. I remember when I wanted to master a lot of languages and a lot of dance forms. Maybe this year will see me make progress towards that goal.
This year for the first time, Kushal wanted to celebrate his own birthday. That's surely a first, I must be a good influence on him. We baked him a nice homemade cake and he took care of the rest of the food. He had only his few favorite people invited :-) and he was reluctant to even open any of his birthday presents.
We have been exercising regularly, one of these days I walked for 18km. The very next day I saw a python on the trail. That put me off the jogging track for a while.
I went to Rupee Room for a Girls nite, had fun with some new friends. Also watched a movie with Monisha - Bride Wars, it was cute. We also watched Slumdog Millionaire and liked it a lot, K liked it especially. But have heard so many detractors criticizing it that it almost feels like many people watched the same movie but took away different things. Waiting with bated breath to see how many oscars it bags. It got 4 Golden Globe awards.

Happy New Year

2009-01-10T18:39:00.002+05:30

10 days into 2009, I am updating the blog to talk about the resolutions that are going well. I did read a couple of books. Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariele and a chicklit book Beauty Shop for Rent by Laura Bowers. I am halfway into Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. So I am doing well on the reading new year resolution. 3 cheers for audio books.
K and I are hitting the gym with alarming regularity and I have also started taking the 40 min route while walking to and from work. While walking alone, I listen to the audiobooks, thereby knocking off 2 resolutions in 1.
Interrupted by an interesting program on TV. Will be back

Another Year Ends

2008-12-30T12:28:00.004+05:30

It's that time of the year when you do a performance review and I am wondering how I fared. I hadn't written down my goals for 2008, but I guess I know what I wanted to achieve. Here goes in no particular order of importance -

Go back to pre-pregnancy weight of 52kg. Haha, Arya is now 10 yrs old and I am still hovering in the 58-60kg zone, so far away from my goal. So this is something which I definitely need to work on for 2009

Read more books. I fell woefully short of this too. I could not infact complete a couple of books that I had started. I didn't put a number on this. I can remember that I did manage to read Shobha De's Superstar India, infact I even went to the Book launch, but I couldn't make time to go to at least 2 more book launches that I did want to go to

Write. Again, as you can see on the blog, this is my first post of 2008. Yucks! Never thought I could get that lazy or that complacent. Watched a movie Ghajini where the protagonist suffers from short-term memory loss, and it actually inspired me to write my diary, this blog.

Dance - Ok this I did aplenty. I continued with the dance classes that I started last year, although the josh had died down quite a bit. My number of students have receeded too. But surprise surprise, it's Arya who wants to learn dance from me earnestly now. So I am going to definitely focus my energies on getting her to do more activities and regular dance practice

Keep in touch with the family - Yes, I have been hard at work, keeping in touch with all my family and with special emphasis on my parents. Papa had another heart attack this year, I know that's not good. I try to talk and chat with them as much as I can. Looking forward to the big family vacation when Yogita gets married May 23

Do more stuff with Arya - I don't think I can do enough with her. 2009 calls for more, after all she'll be a year older and many times smarter. Looking forward to more outings, library visits, dance classes, movies, the list goes on

Do more stuff with Kushal - I think we made progress this year. We have partied a lot, he's definitely more outgoing and finally planning vacations as well. I also discovered that I can bake :-) which means I can spend more time in the kitchen with him. As for photography, I continue to want to be in front of the camera rather than behind it. So I have to work quite a bit on that. He bought me a pink cybershot camera which is too cool.

Do more with Max - When Lorena told me a few days ago that she is going away, after she gets married, I realized how much Max is going to miss her. I have made up my mind to take him out for walks more often and give him a bath etc. Poor Max, I haven't spent much time with him at all.

Special wish for 2009 - Hope there's peace and goodwill everywhere. As for me, I want to continue to do my bit to help.

Baby Aji is no more

2007-11-10T12:10:00.000+05:30

No words of comfort can wipe away the tears that we shed for Baby Aji. Baby was what she was fondly called by my grandpa and I made her Baby Aji. She was Vahini to most because she was the oldest bahu in a brood of 12.Kamal Shanbag became Shobha Prabhu when she married by grandpa. She was Aai to her children and Aditi, who spent her first 5 years in her chatrachaya.
Being her oldest grandchild, I had the pleasure of delivering to her, the title of Great Grandmother by way of Arya, and Atul followed suit with his own contribution, the little Anjali. As she had for so many babies before, she knitted a sweater and a woollen cap and little socks for her latest heroine and thanks to Skype, she even saw her walk. Anjali will only see Baby Aji in photos though.
There is so much to say about Baby Aji and somehow I don't want to believe that she is no more. She did leave a little part of her in all of us. It is impossible to let go of her.

Happy National Day Singapore

2007-08-09T05:53:00.000+05:30

Wow, I seem to be able to log in only one entry every month, which is bad considering that I flaunt the fact that I love to write.

First things first, it's Singapore's 42nd National Day. I was wearing Red and White at work yesterday and imagine my surprise that the only other person doing that was American. In our condo, we have a potluck party tonight to celebrate both National Day and the incorporation of the Management committee. Arya had to wear Red and White too, and we went to buy her a Red t-shirt a day earlier. Can you really believe that MY daughter did not own a single Red T-shirt? I was quite taken aback with this discovery. Red is her favorite color too. But she just never asks for anything.

The next piece of FANTASTIC news is that I got promoted at work. I have just been here for a year and it feels absolutely great to get your efforts rewarded so swiftly. I am all motivated and happy. Also by a lucky chance, there is a Customer event in Austin from 21-23 Aug, which I am going for in my new and exalted role ;-) which is perfect because I can go to Anjali's birthday on the 24th.

And then something which made me sigh with satisfaction was the fact that K finally finally finally gave me a Surprise Birthday Party. The odds were all stacked up against a chance of that ever happening in this lifetime. We've spent 10 years together and never have I been given a surprise. My birthday especially has been celebrated mostly by me - I am such a birthday fanatic. But this 34th birthday was different. I went to work and there were 3 cards on my desk from my department and other colleagues. Then there was a beautiful bouquet in the most perfect mishmash of colours. It made my day and coincidentally matched my dress too. Then Sara and Lit Yang took me out to lunch at Go India in Vivocity, they were both all dolled up just for me and my special day. LY left early for a meeting she said, but it was really to get my cake, HaagenDaaz macadmia nuts and vanilla icecream cake, it had pink colored white chocolate shavings on it...wow it was such a dreamy, yummy cake. But I didn't know that yet, as I was tucking in the last bits of dessert at Go India! And Sara bought Godiva Truffes and we headed out to office. Everyone was waiting in the dark with the cake and candles all lit up. I wish I had taken a picture, but I was just too shocked. Such a sweet shock - Godiva Chocolates and Haagen daaz icecream..ooh! my friends know me only too well. Plus the fact that almost everyone who worked with me had been sitting patiently in a dark room waiting. I was truly surprised and grateful.

And then, Kushal came early like he said he would and we were all dressed up to have a quiet dinner at Sentosa. Oh by the way, Kushal had bought my favorite Chocolate Indulgence cake the previous night and that was a surprise too :-) We didn't manage to cut it then because Arya went off to sleep. So we took the cake along - i was mighty surprised with that. Hehe, then the cake was left behind in the cab, and K tried hard to get it back. Usually he would have just let it go, but he told me to go ahead to the restaurant and waited outside himself. Arya and me went to the restaurant and I saw Kausar, Karim, Maya and Viren. I really thought to myself - wow, what a coincidence, on a week night too! and then they got up and said Happy Birthday, I was just speechless and saw that they were sitting at a much longer table waiting for others to arrive. Then came Rajani, Mitesh, Tulika Nandu and Adu, Vinod and Veena (who were very late) and everyone's bachchas (kids) I was just so overwhelmed, I had no idea. These are all people I talk to on a daily basis and yet no one divulged anything. K's master stroke was that no blood relative of mine knew anything so Arya and Adu were not in on the secret, cos as per him, these 2 wouldn't have been able to keep it from me - hehe, that is true. And I am glad I was well and truly surprised.

What a wonderful birthday!

Phuket

2007-07-13T12:12:00.001+05:30

Life has been busy. It's just one thing after another until you feel the days all merge into one. K's been travelling a lot, so much so that Arya and I sometimes forget whether he is in town or still travelling. She had vacations and so it was hard to keep her occupied and keep up with all the late night telecons and volunteer work and social butterfly stuff (I feel more like a social sloth at this moment)
It was summer and a vacation had to be taken so we flew off to Phuket. Now we can say "Been there, done that" We spent two glorious days on Patong Beach and one day souvenir shopping, checking out local attractions and basically doing nothing. Arya was in love with our hotel, the Holiday Inn. She spent a substantial part of our 3 day vacation in the Swimming Pool - she especially loved the wave pool.
One consistent strain for every vacation is that Arya embarks on a new place and has to find the souvenir shop to buy gifts for all her friends. Now this was a fine quality (meant to be encouraged) when we went on a 3 week vacation to Europe or a 2 week vacation to San Diego, with ample opportunity. Plus you can really understand the fact that she is missing her friends when you have been away for weeks, or that she wants to tell them - "I thought of you when I was away"
But in Phuket, and with the 3 precious days that we had, I wasn't willing to go up and about and look for the perfect gifts for all her friends when the sun, the sand and the sea was just beckoning.
However, Arya got her way as usual. She bought some colorful wooden frogs for them. It is really very sweet of her to think of her friends all the time. Without any expectations too. None of her friends actually reciprocate in kind, hehe!
The other highlight of our trip was Phuket Fantasea...I should call it a lowlight actually. This was touted as Phuket's answer to Disneyland and seemingly had everything that Disneyland did except Mickey Mouse. However, when we landed up there (after having paid Disneyland prices for entry) we realised that we had been had. The thrilling adventure rides and games were nothing but "ring toss" or "shoot the balloons", the oodles of shopping was nothing but overpriced souvenirs and really glitzy and garish jewellery shops. Oh, did I say overpriced already? And then there was the "Biggest Buffet in the World" What did you expect? Oh no, it was not the largest array of dishes that you have ever seen. By biggest they meant seating capacity. 4000 people can be accomodated in that hall. Imagine 4000 people waiting in line for a dismal spread.
Everything that could be charged for as "extra" was. This is what I hate about developing nations, everyone wants to make a fast buck. Leaves a really bad taste.
Now, we were hoping that the grand finale to the evening would make the whole episode worth it (and we wouldn't feel like complete fools) But alas! They made us leave our phones and cameras at a security desk, only so that if you wanted pics with the animals inside you'd have to buy them. The show itself was more glitz and garish costumes. The animals came on stage and went off. Any roadside circus in India has better animal performances or acrobatics. Anyway, saving grace was that Arya enjoyed herself. As we were trudging out, secretly trying to take our minds off the fact that we had just been duped, we saw some baby elephants waiting to be fed. Of course Arya wanted to feed them and of course, they were charging 200 baht for it. So we said - Fine...and bought bananas and sugarcane (which would actually cost about 20 baht at best) for the pleasure of feeding the elephants and Kushal was trying to take her picture when the mahouts generously asked us to pose with her - Whole family picture they said and took not one but two pictures. Just as I was about to say Thank You, they said - 100 baht...please give elephant. Sheesh!
Now of course it was not all bad. I definitely needed a break and I got it. We all emerged happy and refreshed. But I will obviously recommend that you avoid Phuket Fantasea if you ever land up there.

Europe again

2007-06-06T15:52:00.000+05:30

Little did I know when we were on our idyllic Europe vacation last June that I would land up here again exactly after a year. This time I went to Amsterdam, Veldhoven, Bussum, Cologne and Munich and I am on my way tonight to London (or rather Bracknell)

There are tons and tons of new things I learnt in these couple of weeks.

Some Ahas were that Cologne and Dusseldorf are just on opposite sides of the Rhein, a mere 30 kms away from each other and there is a ferry (obviously)or hovercraft to take you across.

Also learnt that Cologne and Bonn share an airport. It's called...what else.. the Koln Bonn airport :-)

Gujjus have taken over the world. I met a bunch of them (probably a 100 or so) in a SOTC tour group in Veldhoven, which is this little suburb of Eindhoven. All that Eindhoven really has is Philips. So I am wondering what they would have come to see.

More fun facts to follow in my next post.

Happy Sad Feeling

2007-03-20T20:25:00.000+05:30

I am really happy today because I had my annual review and it was all good news and my efforts were well-rewarded. But my family is not all around me, I want them at my dinner table, laughing and talking and arguing and enjoying. K is in KL, Adu is busy although she's in Sg, Atul is in SD and I can't even tell him until its time for him to wake up(hate time zones), Mummy, Papa, B.Aji are all in India, very happy, but I want to see them and I want to celebrate.
A is here, but she doesn't totally understand. I told her I got a good report card :-) She got a B2 for the first time ever today in Maths because she got stuck on one problem and lost time, couldn't complete her paper. So it wasn't exactly a good analogy - me telling her about my own glorious report card.
Guess I will watch some TV. K will be here tomorrow and then we'll go and party on Thu or Fri.

Happy Half birthday to Anjali

2007-02-24T21:47:00.000+05:30

It's already 6 months since my chota bhai became a baap and Anjali came into our lives. A few days ago, we saw 2 pics of her eating. Yes, she is onto cereals now. She was actually holding the spoon, which had all of us oohing and aahing. Aditi Atya was here too.
By the way, Vin did a Birthday Suprise Trip for Adu again. This time it's Bangkok. I am so happy for her.
Back here in Singapore, we had some tame CNY. This year we didn't invite a whole lot of people. Infact K was asking me why we haven't been inviting people these days. I think I am just being lazy. I did have the NUS girls over last Saturday. Sunday we went to Manisha's house. Dinner was awesome with tooooooo many different dishes. It was an impressive spread and too much variety to choose from.
I also had a surprise party for Kushal and I invited a bunch of friends. Of course, they didn't get to savor his cooking. But the surprise was a success because he was genuinely surprised. He has been working so hard. It was a well-deserved break. I wanted to invite a few others, but I wasn't completely sure of what time the birthday boy would arrive.
Our anniversary was a very dull affair as well. Naively enough, I thought I could surprise him with a Rasa Sentosa Sunday Brunch and overnight stay, but it was quite quite full even a month in advance. To top it off, he was sick as well. We managed to go out for lunch with Arya. Thai Express at Paragon. Really poor service, we were ignored for very long after getting to the table. Arya still remembered the worm in her tomato from last time. For K's birthday, we went to Pasta Fresca at Pasir Panjang with the Charis. Another disappointing restaurant. The food was godawful and we really paid through our noses for such lousy food ki kya kahen.
But yes in general, I haven't been the hostess with the mostess. I have been attending loads of parties though. Especially a lot of NUS dos.
Coming back to babies, I went to see PFT's beti on Friday with the rest of the office gang. She is such a cutie. The most distinguished feature was her impeccably combed hair. That's how she came out. All propah and not a hair out of place, and such thick hair too. GB was jealous he said :-)
And to speak of Anjali again, I really miss having her to hold and play with. Although I spent just a couple of weeks with her, it was the most awesome bond. I can barely wait to see her again in December.

So overdue

2007-02-02T13:22:00.000+05:30

I never really recovered from the San Diego vacation to write about it.

I must say that Anjali is adorable. It was wonderful to hold her and coo to her and do silly things to make her smile. Atul said they will come to Singapore in Dec this year and I am already counting the days (months, sigh!!)

The 2 weeks with Anjali made me want another baby. More than ever.

We did a lot of fun things in SD and also in LA. We went to Disneyland where all of us had our first ever Disneyland experience and we were lucky to go there at Christmas time so that we could witness the great Xmas parade. Arya, me and mummy saw snow for the first time at Big bear lake. We went down tubing and all that. So much fun.

Arya was Anjali's fairy godmother, she did everything short of changing diapers. I gave Anjali a bath almost every night. How she hates getting water on her face!

Kushal cooked some delicious meals for all of us. Atul and Bhawana drove us around everywhere. They needed 2 cars to fit in everyone, car seats et al.

We checked out the Y! office in SD, do you know they have real orange trees in the courtyard. We picked oranges and ate them on our roadtrip to Big Bear, hehe. Just the sheer glee of it all.

And we all shopped a great deal but not as much as we would have loved too. There was just too much to do.

Atul gave Arya a lot of love and a lot of grief, she became Adu's replacement as the object of his affection and teasing. We did miss Adu several times during the 2 weeks and wished she could have come as well. We taught Arya to play gadav, 5-3-2 and 7-8s.

We went to a lot of parties Atul's office party, etc. Arya was always hovering around Anjali playing the role of the protective older sibling.

For Arya particularly, this trip was so cool, because she got to see zoos galore. The wild animal park in San Diego is really so fascinating. We saw a lot of animals even in the puny Big Bear Zoo that we hadn't seen before. Badgers, skunks, and the like. The world-famous San Diego zoo is not half as good as the Singapore zoo, but hey, it was a zoo and Arya was in raptures.

We also went for the first time to a Costco, and it was amazing to see. Quite a wonder!

So I came back and rubbed off the saying on my cube - When was the last time you did something for the first time? There were so many firsts we did on this trip. And they were all so overdue, like this post is.

Movie Mania and Food Feast

2006-11-28T08:48:00.000+05:30

For me, it was 3 movies in a row. I watched Happy Feet with Arya on Thursday, then Dhoom-2 with the whole family (aaji, vin, adu, k, a and me) on Saturday and Casino Royale with K on Monday.

Of all the movies, I found D-2 the coolest. I loved Hrithik's dance moves, Abhishek should not have danced in the movie. Poor AB. He didn't get much of a chance to act and that's the stuff he's really good at and what he should stick to doing.

Casino Royale - K described it at the Best Bond movie ever. Coming from K, who is quick to criticize, I think that's high praise.

Happy Feet - A's personal fav. She even did the Tappy Tappy Dance when she was out of the cineplex.

On Sat, we also were part of a real life movie :-) T and N celebrated their 20th Wedding Anniv and Prabha got them the Tamil shaadi wala clothes, so T in a navari and N in a pattu, it was sweet and funny. We took lots of pics and celebrated with them until 2 am, with nice Italian khana (gnocchis, lasagna, bruschetta,risotto and crepes) and Tiramisu to top it off.

And on Sun, we went to the new Crystal Jade at Taka lev 2. It's all Black and red and looks very pricey (it is) but the food is oh-so-delicious. They have exotic stuff there, Australia lobsters, full cream crabs, pigeons, ducks, what not. We had some very well-cooked beef steaks, rice cakes with minced meat, noodles in a cream soup with lots of veggies and kung pao (my fav) But surprise, surprise, I ate that last of all. Arya made sure that we visited the CJ toilet as well, which is very regal, alongwith the food and decor. She has a penchant for visiting regal toilets. I am never going to forget the Cafe Royale at Paris. But, I digress.

In the evening, K made Kathi rolls....mouthwatering and just the right street food flavour. Yummm.

Happy Feet Treat

2006-11-24T07:45:00.000+05:30

Yesterday Arya got a special treat from me. We watched the first day, first show of Happy Feet. She has been working hard for her tests which concluded yesterday. This was a nice treat for her. She thoroughly enjoyed the movie, I was watching her laughing and munching popcorn and sipping coke. She said she had a great time and thanked me very much. I wanted to take her to the library at Jurong Point but we found out that it was closed. So then we went to the Jurong Regional Library. We reached 15 minutes before closing time and hurriedly borrowed the required books and left. Arya was frantic. She thought they would lock us up inside. She is so funny. We took a cab home. It was a perfect kind of day.

Weekend full of fun

2006-11-20T05:24:00.000+05:30

This weekend was what Arya's dreams are made of.

On Friday, we went to a birthday party. One of her friends turned 8. It was a bbq party. She had great fun, climbed on some pillars, sat on some really high up planks of wood (quite dare-devilish for her). Good food and the cake was Ariel.

We had our own bbq party on Saturday. All my colleagues got together at FC. We had a wonderful spread of food and drinks and K's kebabs were a hit as usual. He had prawns on skewers and chicken reshmi kebabs. A was bored for a while until the kids showed up. Then she got real pally with a girl called Alison, and both of them requested to be excused from the party so that they could go upstairs and play in A's room. After Alison left, she didn't miss a beat and started running around and playing with Greg's twins. She even managed to scream a couple of times when they were playing Tag. The change in her was quite stunning and I am really glad. I discovered that she is a fast runner after all ;-)

And then yesterday night, we had dinner at another colleague's house. He has a wonderful family, but no kids Arya's age so she was worried and asked if she could take a book along to read. Turned out that they have a dog - a puppy really who's big enough to knock Arya down, called Aella. So Arya was more than thrilled.

Asked her which she enjoyed the most - Aella won hands down.

Keep Walking

2006-11-02T11:18:00.000+05:30

I had excuses and excuses. My walking mates, Tulika and Adu were both out of town. It was Diwali and I had faral to prepare. I had a bad cold for 2 weekends. K was home early. We watched a ton of movies thanks to our new Videoezy membership. And most of all, the haze was out there.

But finally yesterday, under perfect weather conditions (there was a cool breeze after the evening thunderstorm) Tulika and I were walking again. It felt good to finally get some form of exercise. I have been feeling F-A-T.

Arya at Hogwarts

2006-10-30T11:53:00.000+05:30

K and I went shopping for a Black witch hat and then I stitched sleeves on a little black cocktail dress which once belonged to Aditi. We tied a Black satin ribbon all along the length of our old broom handle and voila - we had a student ready for Hogwarts!
We couldn't really get onto Platform 9 3/4 but we managed to get Arya into Jyothi's car to get her to the Witches and Wizards party at Mehek's place. She was looking really cute. Atul and gang saw her on video conference. She didn't look evil (with that face, who would?) or spooky. She really just looked like your regular Hogwarts first year student, would have given Hermoine Granger a run for her money.
K and I went to see Don Saturday night with Jo and Shantanu. Kids were happy to have a sleepover at Diya's place. I really liked the movie - but I am biased. Don was my favourite movie when it released.

Old Habits die hard

2006-10-28T02:15:00.000+05:30

I almost let K go to a drinks and dinner with his work friends - Alone! I thought I could do it. And then at the very last minute, I said, oh, I think I will join you.
Can't I ever ever ever give up an opportunity to go out? I wasn't feeling too well. This freaky cold which started like a haze allergy just keeps coming back to me. I think I must have sneezed a hundred times - enough for K to carry 4 panadols (in case I needed them) and to enquire about the state of my health twice.
It was a fun evening. But then I had a coffee before we started out and I couldn't sleep, so when we got back, I watched a movie - it had J.Aniston in it so K wouldn't watch it for the world, and what did I do cos I was watching the movie alone? Made myself 3 more cups of coffee, that's what I did. It's Stupid with the Capital S.
And now I am up all night while the rest of the house is in deep slumber. Still miserable with my cold, part of me hating the fact that I can't get sleep, part of me enjoying this alone time where I can do what I do best - write!
Pages and pages of inspiration.
Seriously, I better get started on that book I have left half done. Since my job change, I haven't had a moment to think abt the book.
Anyway - just for the record. The hot coffee didn't offer me any relief from my runny nose. I think I should just have some cognac!

Parents are cast in the Same Mould

2006-10-14T12:27:00.000+05:30

Arya's Annual Day Function Today. Their bus came to pick them up early. The parents are supposed to go later in the evening for the show.

I was preparing Diwali faral. Proud to say that I completed narlipak and shankarpali, and also made gajar halwa (not really for Diwali but for today). What I am trying to say is that I was very dishevelled, my hair was a complete mess and I don't think I even got a chance to wash my face, as I hurriedly changed and went down to look at the kids. I wanted to see all of them in their costumes.

First I met Rosa Ana with a videocamera and then Shantanu and Jyothi with their camera and then Nandu and Tulika. It seems as if all the parents wanted to see all the kids. It's heartening to know that parents are cast in the same mould all over the world. J commented that after this grand send-off today, we might hear them expecting the same treatment everyday :-)

They were all looking so adorable!

Kahaan gaye woh din…sigh!

2006-10-13T11:26:00.000+05:30

Lately, Arya has been different.

She’s no longer shy or reticent. She seems very poised and confident. She makes humorous dinner-time conversation. Like yesterday at the dinner table, Baby aji pointed out that she’s become naughtier than before. She said she hadn’t and went on to say that earlier when Baby Aji asked her to do something she’d refuse by saying “No” and nowadays she doesn’t say “No”. So I asked her, slyly, “So when Baby aji asks you to do something, do you do it?” She said, “YES!” and then sheepishly said, “Sometimes” and we all laughed and laughed till our sides ached.

But going back to all the things she used to do that she doesn’t.

She no longer wants to come and sleep in our room, even when we call her. There was a time when not only did she insist in sleeping in our room, but she also wanted to sleep in the middle. She pronounced it MEEDEEL. It was so sweet. At night, when she was fast asleep, we would smile at each other, and slowly move her to one side. She had this uncanny radar sense as well. She’d realize if there’s no one on the bed and she’d wake up and go look for us immediately. All of this wanting to sleep with us waned to “Sleep with me until I fall asleep” and then “tell me a story to help me sleep by myself” to “Sleep with me for 5 minutes and then you can go to your own room” But now the biggul (big girl) no longer wants to sleep in our room, even if we invite her to. So much so that even when Kushal is on a business trip, and I tell her to come to my bed, she says, you can sleep in my room if you want!

She used to call everyone and everything “naughty” when things didn’t go her way. So when she fell down, the ground was naughty, if her pencil point broke when she was writing, then the pencil was proclaimed naughty, if the alarm clock woke her up from slumber land, it was sleepily pronounced naughty, and if I yelled at her and made her cry, I was (you guessed it) naughty. So that’s gone, infact, quite a few years ago.

She had these nasty allergies, which made her breathless and she had to be rushed to the hospital a few times. Thank God that’s gone!

Due to the allergies, we didn’t let her play with soft toys. There were a lot of tears that day, when we threw out each and every one of her cuddly soft toys. But when we realized years later that the allergies were gone, we consented guiltily into buying her one and then another and then another. The first one which we bought, a humungous dog, which Kushal christened Mangala, was a constant companion. Arya carried Mangala every where she went, including her trips to Mumbai. Everywhere that Arya went, Mangala was sure to go, like the proverbial Mary’s little lamb. However, all of a sudden, we find Mangala cast away in a stock pile of other cuddlies. Her sad, sad, hush puppy eyes look even sadder these days. Arya has moved on meanwhile to Lord of the Ring swords and rubber dart machine guns.

Yesterday, I played a game of snakes and ladders with her and to my delight I discovered, that she doesn’t cry anymore when she gets eaten up by a “snake” and has to go back to somewhere at the bottom of the board. She also cheers for the winner even if it’s not her.

She has done some funny things in her life. Like the day we discovered her jumping up and down on her bed, actually our bed, screaming “Naynaynay Gravity” over and over again like some sort of chant. Wonder if Sir Isaac Newton demonstrated in a similar fashion, his immense pleasure when the apple fell on his head! But yesterday when I told her a fairy story about a rainbow called Happy, she cut me short saying – “Well, then Happy is really a sunbeam that’s all.”

More and more it seems like her childhood is the sand slipping through my fingers and tightening my fist doesn’t seem to help at all. Sigh! Maybe I am ready for another baby now.

Everything that Men know about Women

2006-10-12T13:33:00.000+05:30

One of my colleagues is very excited. His wife has lived away from him for 3 years due to her job and she's now joining our company. She's going to be in the same team, so while we were talking about when exactly she's going to join and he was telling me of how thrilled he is, he also mentioned that he hopes that the two of us (me and his wife) hit it off well. I said there wasn't any doubt of that happening as two married women usually do, since they have a lot in common. You know, the usual conversations about how inept men are and what would they ever do without their oh-so competent wives. I got a laugh out of him, so I said I'd done my Good Deed for the Day.
This brings to mind a book that Vani showed me. She said it was given to her by someone from the H Company's Boeblingen office. The title was "Everything that Men know about Women" and inside it was just that - totally blank!

Dandiya Dhamaka

2006-10-11T07:39:00.000+05:30

This weekend was really something else!!

On Saturday we had the Lantern festival in our condo. There was a Lion Dance and the kids had put up a song and a dance. I had choreographed the dance, and believe it or not, I had the same butterflies in my stomach as I have before every one of my own performances. At 33, I think I should have got over such things. Of course, whatever could go wrong did. At first the speakers weren't working and then the CD player wasn't. So we had to stall the proceedings until we could arrange replacements. Jyothi went to get her system, she was wearing a sari, she tripped and fell and had to wear a different sari. Diya fell during the dance. Shiva hurt his shoulder. Oh the list goes on!

But all in all, the kids were really good and made me proud. Arya won a consolation prize for the lantern making competition (although she had a lot of people's popular vote - mine, too;-) Now I sound like a neurotic mom who's deepest darkest secret is that HER BABY IS SECRETLY THE BEST AT EVERYTHING.

On Sunday, we had a dandiya party organized by Tulika and Nandu. They are really very good at this. Tulika had planned everything to the last detail. There was awesome Gujarati food (I had made Aloo Baingan) home-cooked. The theplas, Shrikhand and Kalakhand deserve special mention. I don't remember the last time I ate so much when all the food on offer was vegetarian :-)

It was fun all the way, helping with the decorations, which were these colorful saris and dupattas on the walls, taking photos of those moments which no one should miss and even helping out with the Operation Cleanup at the end. Fun, Fun, Fun! What I should not fail to mention here is that I danced for 5 hours straight, and that was the most I have danced in a long, long time. The Kajra Re solo came up by popular demand (and of course no one enjoys it more than me) and Rajani and I did some real fast dandiya moves. Prakash and Anjali were easily the best sports around, starting from dressing for the part to picking up the steps and actually dancing. They got quite good at it by the end. I was also teaching Jyothi, Nita and Ivy and everyone had a great time.

A bigger treat was to see Arya dancing. She was looking like a doll in her White lehenga choli. It's amazing that this shy little girl has blossomed into quite the social butterfly. So much so that yesterday I had this conversation with her where everyone seemed to be constantly directing all their queries to her at school. Asking her for GK answers, spellings and even her opinion on what they should be wearing at random parties. She confessed that she was quite irritated with all the attention. Her friend Anana was there as well and she told me that she would be really happy if SHE had been the object of all that attention. I so agree! Hoo boy, I'll have to drill some sense into my little girl's head now.

Birthdays and Celebrations

2006-10-05T10:16:00.000+05:30

Just started thinking about birthdays all of a sudden today. I don't know why! My birthday this year was quite splendid. Kushal actually bought me a cake, the first time ever without an ounce of hinting, prodding and sheepish reminding. I didn't quite plan a party, but then Adu and Vinod came over and so did Tulika, Nandu and the kids and Jyothi came with her kids and Rajani, Mitesh came with Rani as well. So it turned into quite a party. We took pictures, we had dinner, I opened presents everything was so perfect.
Plus I was still getting some hangover effect from our lovely Europe vacation, so for once, I couldn't complain about a thing. And then the Dell written offer came in that day too. Arya forgot to wish me in the morning, but she made up for it by making me a card and several other things.
I actually went to work this year, just....! Older and wiser I guess. I don't ever remember working on my birthday prior to this.
And now, we are in the midst of festive season. We went to see the Durga Puja on Ashtami day. Got to see the Aarti. Kushal didn't come because he was suffering with his back ache. But Baby aji and Lorena came with me and Arya. We had a good time, I wore a sari - Adu's Kancheevaram (finally ghadi-modli). It was fun to see familiar faces and even more awesome to note that the hoi-polloi was actually performing the Dhunuchi naach.
We are having Dandiya-raas at our condo this Sunday. On Saturday we are celebrating the Lantern festival. I have choreographed a dance with the kids. Arya is taking part, I am so excited that she is. She is also taking part in a dance at school. Maybe, maybe, maybe she will actually start liking dancing. She was the only person who didn't dance at my birthday party (and at several other parties) and that made me sad!
Plus Diwali is just round the corner - and this time under Baby Aji's expert supervision, I am planning to cook a whole host of goodies. I guess we will need to go shopping at some point, because I am sure i don't even own most of the tools and ingredients. It's all very exciting. I can hardly wait for Oct 21.

Anjali - my new love

2006-09-27T16:00:00.000+05:30

After a longish wait, I am finally an aunt. I can't seem to get enough of my adorable little niece. I wake up most mornings and look at her pictures or get on to video chat to see her funny movements. I keep tormenting Arya about how she looks like her in this photo and that. I also made sure that I book my tickets to San Diego much in advance for the Dec holidays. 4 months is the earliest ever that I have gotten tickets.
I also keep worrying about how the daycare people are going to treat her once my parents return to India. :-)

Recently, she smiled at us on the video chat. It was a moment. We were all under her spell. Now besides having her on my screensaver and hanging up her picture in my office, I have suddenly developed an avid interest in looking at other people's babies and comparing them (unfavourably) to our family ka bachcha.

Y to D

2006-09-19T13:51:00.000+05:30

It's been slightly over a month now that I have joined the D company. The Y company seems so far away now. I was quite perplexed there with the maturity levels of people all around me, but I do admit that they do know how to have fun - BIG TIME!
At D, everyone is much more serious and committed to their work. People routinely log in late at night and keep working at unimaginable hours. I have been lucky to meet a lot of people that I have worked with in the past. Everyone has been incredibly helpful and really really sweet.
I still remember my first day at work in the M company.... such a far cry from my first day at D. I remember feeling scared and vulnerable and looking at all the seniors with so much admiration. Makes me laugh now. At D, things went so smoothly, I never had any first day blues. The people I work with are very experienced and I am really happy with that. I got some praise for having gotten up to speed fast (the way that they like it at D) so I am currently basking in that!
My boss is wonderful. She seems to see most things the way I do, and that is very useful. She's very young and very successful, a great role model. Plus she loves wine and birthdays...the similarities never end!

mmmm...dream vacation

2006-07-07T14:22:00.000+05:30

Hello - I am back from a dream vacation. Visited 4 countries in Europe and covered 5500 kms. It was a perfect summer break. We ooh-ed and aah-ed over ancient monuments and breathtaking landscapes and art and architecture. Everything was just so picturesque just like the hindi movies. Food was heavenly too.
We got a chance to stay with some local families and it was a huge opportunity for us to observe European culture at close quarters. Imagine we thought that Germans eat sausages and bread at every meal was an exaggeration. We found out it was quite quite true. Thankfully, they have lots of bread and even more sausages to choose from.
In Switzerland we saw that they sell logs of wood at petrol stations ;-) betchya didn't know that!
More to follow...

Mera Life Mahaan

2006-04-28T14:01:00.000+05:30

My Book

I am happy to announce that I have started writing my book. I have completed 2 chapters and have a whole long weekend stretched out in front of me to make progress.

Back in Singapore

2006-01-24T11:32:00.000+05:30

It's amazing how I do it everytime, but I managed to land myself back in Singapore on my two feet, job intact.
Yes, I have a new job now, and life is busy as hell.
I feel grateful just being back in Singapore, I didn' t like living in Bangalore at all. I am much too spoilt by the ease of living in SG.
Baby Aji - my grandmother has stayed with me since April 2005 and she's moving back to Bombay on Monday. I feel this big loss, I don't know how to quite explain it.

Been lazy

2005-10-02T08:37:00.000+05:30

It's just been too much of a bother blogging these days, besides i have found a new love - Linkedin!
And anyways i like one to one conversations much more than one to many.

Nauseating Couples

2005-06-19T13:12:00.000+05:30

Have you come across those couples who go too far with their very public display of affection which makes you want to throw up or look away or at the very least pretend that you don't know them any more.
More about them later.

Marriage in the family!

2005-06-11T06:08:00.000+05:30

My precious sister Aditi is getting married and guess where - In Singapore. And in Bangalore. Bless her soul, she has chosen the two places in the world where I would like to be and where I am at the moment.

Of course, since it's at very short notice, the last few weeks have been a whirl of phonecalls across the world, chats on the www, hurriedly exchanged emails and complaints about the dates and the two venues, phonemeeting of the parents, sari shopping, fall, beading, venue fixing, what have you!

In the middle of all this, my grandmom Baby Aji, who is staying with me has been constantly at my side and she is as amused by my excitement as I am with hers.

Arya on the other hand, is in steady state. With some amount of disappointment I realized that marriage will never be for Arya an event as important and fun as it is for us. She hardly gets a chance to attend the great Indian weddings. So she doesn't have a clue what the excitement is all about. She has simply decided that she is going to wear her Mujhse shaadi Karogi dress (the one they got for her Shiamak Dawar concert)

She looked at the sarees I bought with some amount of disdain. Then she finally deigned to tell me which one she liked the best. She asked me what's wrong with me and why would I wear a saree when Baba had bought 3 lovely dresses for me to wear.

I told her the next marriage in our family would be hers and she was not coy or shy as I thought she would be. Instead, she was interested and attentive. She asked me whether she could stay with me even after she got married. I said yes of course!

Now she is asking, why can't Aditimaushi still stay with us after she gets married.

BPO Blast - People mgmt

2005-05-13T14:49:00.000+05:30

When I wanted to be a people manager, I had no idea that I will be faced with these kind of problems. Sometimes it's so hilarious I want to laugh, sometimes it's so crummy, I want to cry, but I have to sit through that 1:1 or that skip level meeting with a completely straight face.

When I am asked to speak on "HR updates" what they are really asking is "When am I getting promoted" When someone says "I have an issue with the process" it means "my shift timings don't suit my personal life". So on and so forth.

Day after day, some unique problems surface. There's this girl who came to me with recently shorn locks. I was about to comment on how nice she was looking when she stopped me dead in my tracks saying - Please change my shift cab. There's a girl who comes in that cab and she has lice-infested hair. I caught the lice too and I had to cut off all my hair to get rid of them.

If you thought that was funny, there's this girl who lives very near the office and she comes in the morning shift walking. She wants cab service (not available due to proximity to office) her reason being - There are too many street dogs, I feel threatened to walk there. It's early in the morning and they are hungry. They could take a bite out of my leg.

Someone gave me a high!

2005-05-12T22:15:00.000+05:30

Out of the blue, totally unexpected, one of my direct reports told me - The way you handled the All team meeting yesterday was simply superb. No one but you could have done it!
And the thing is that this guy is moving on to another team, so he really didn't need to. But I am so glad he did. It made my day.

Mangoes make life worth living

2005-05-12T10:06:00.000+05:30

I can't express how delighted I am today. I picked up my first Alphonso mangoes of the season. So far I had to satiate my tastebuds with just Raspuri, Badami and the likes. Mommy did send some Alphonsos with Baby Aji but they were bad or went bad in transit.

Today I had the pleasure of smelling each one before I put it in the basket. I got greedy and took more than I could eat. After all they were only Rs50 a kilo. That's nothing. I remember when mangoes were so prohibitively expensive that we couldn't afford to buy anything more than 1 per person.

Ummm, more when I have savored them all.

India Reloaded - Accidents galore

2005-05-08T14:05:00.000+05:30

I was going to write on Wednesday because it was a high point in my life. I actually drove my car myself to my office and back home. Ok I ran out of patience when I was trying to park back again in my puny little parking lot at DD. So I asked somebody's driver to help out, but other than that, the feeling was totally awesome and exhilirating.

I drove.

And I was determined to drive everyday now that I had driven once, I didn't want the confidence to ebb. But then, it rained two nights in a row and I didn't want to take the car out on wet roads. So my car stays perfectly parked (by the driver, of course)

Meanwhile, I had to gloat about my newfound ability to drive without causing major havoc on the road. So when Dicky (my childhood friend called me up, that's the story I told him first) He seemed wan. He told me his car was in the office as he had had an accident a couple of days ago. A motorcyclist rammed into him from the front. But since that guy had a fracture and he was the guy on the smaller vehicle, the law is likely to be on his side.

My world almost came crashing down all around me. Dicky has been driving for eons. And even in Bangalore he drives quite a distance to and from work. There is absolutely no reason that Dicky could make an error. And he probably didn't. Bangalore roads are truly the worst. I keep hearing of accidents day in and day out. A lot of them are fatal. Even pedestrians are not spared. It kind of makes you wonder whether you should go out at all.

The other day one of the guys in my team Ravi, had an accident, where he swerved to avoid a motorcyclist and rammed his car into the kerb. The crowd still broke his windshield. The crowd menace is probably more of an issue than the accident itself. In this case, the motorcyclist was totally unhurt, all that happened was that he fell off the bike.

And then just when we were going to go out on holiday, I heard that a jeep full of people from Fidelity had a head on collision with a truck and all the people including the driver died instantly. This was a Trinity Cab and I have been regularly using their services. It made me shudder and mutter a rushed prayer of thanks that it wasn't me.

Accidents have become very commonplace in Bangalore. People are very used to it. It makes me sick, the low value that life has here.

Life Is Same, Predictable and all things Boring

2005-05-08T13:47:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I don't know whether to count my lucky stars that my life is predictable or boring. I always yearn to go back to Singapore where things are always the same. Nothing is a surprise. But is that exactly how I want to live my life forever?

I have tried to insulate myself as much as possible in Bangalore as well. For example, every Saturday and Sunday, Arya and I go skating and then dancing and we share a Chocolate Icecream at Corner House and the rest of the time we are at home. We do this over and over again every weekend. It makes me happy that I know that my baby is with me and she's safe and sound. However it irritates the hell out of me that I have nothing better to do on the weekend than ferry her around to her classes.

And I tell myself that since I am a working mother, this is the quality time that I get to spend with her and I should make the most of it. But I am so irritable these days. Most of the time I leave her bewildered during our quality time sessions wondering what she did wrong. She would rather not have that kind of quality I think.

It's Mother's Day today. I am really upset. There are a thousand things I want from life but most of all I want another baby. I wish it was easy for Kushal to understand. I wish he wanted a baby as much as I did. I wish things didn't have to be so complex.

I really don't want to be superwoman, supermom, etc etc. I just want a normal life with as many kids as possible. I want to look after them and teach them to be good human beings. I find it irritating that people gloat about how they balance a career and a family. I don't want to balance anything. I would throw away all the glamor to just have that second child. I know I really desperately wanted to have Arya as well. I thought I wouldn't be so keen the second time. But seems like it's an obsession with me. In the middle of my highly dramatic life in Bangalore, with so many uncertainities that it makes your head spin, I have insulated myself to the highest extent possible in the hope that Kushal will agree to have another baby, inspite of the turmoil and the uncertainty.

But No!

Saying Bye Bye to Singapore All Over Again

2005-04-25T06:20:00.000+05:30

Arya tells me that she has a funny, sad feeling in the pit of her stomach. We are leaving for Bangalore tonight. Our 2 week vacation in Singapore has come to an end. She had nightmares 2 nights in a row and she is feeling down and out and vulnerable.

And me - sigh! I am not even starting to describe how I am feeling. At least in my mind, I can rationalize that it's nicer to spend 2 weeks in Singapore and bear the 2 day ordeal of parting pangs rather than not come at all. But for Arya, she doesn't know how to deal with saying Bye Bye to her precious Singapore all over again. She would much rather not come here at all, because she can't bear the depression of saying Bye.

Kushal went to Mumbai on a business trip on Saturday and that was probably what started her downward spiral. She is now reached a point where she is ready to cry at the slightest provocation. Helpless mother that I am, my heart goes out to her of course. Yet at the same time, I wish she was tougher. What with all the hard knocks life has to offer - I worry, I worry a lot!

Junya Athvani - Pathare Prabhu Swapna Sundari

2005-04-14T07:29:00.000+05:30

People form associations. They want their children to grow up in communities. They want others to take pride in their children's achievements. My parents are part of the Pathare Prabhu association. As children, we really enjoyed participating in the numerous debates, elocution, drawing competitions and the like.
I was feared and respected in PP circles for my English prowess. Although the PP community tried hard to instill the Marathi-ness of us all into our impressionable minds, secretly they admired English speaking people much more and each one of them broke into English when suitably drunk (in an effort to sound more learned)

So we were growing up with the sense of being a PP somewhere on the periphery of our vision - I would proudly proclaim that we PPs are the Original Inhabitants of Bombay City - (of course I had no clue of how to say that in Marathi)

Then hey presto - Sushmita Sen won the Miss India and went on to be Miss Universe and Aishwarya Rai won the Miss World title in the very same year and the PPs, forward thinking as they are, decided to have their very own beauty contest. They named it Pathare Prabhu Swapna Sundari which roughly translates to PP Dream Girl. My mother was very insistent that I participate and some of the glamor of Ash and Sush had rubbed off on me too, which is why I was very willing.

We had a quest for finding the perfect saree. And then the perfect accessories and then we had to decide who would do my makeup and what I would say on stage. Of course I had loads of people helping me to rehearse my lines. There was excitement backstage and mostly in the minds of my cousins and little brother and sister, who were awaiting my arrival on stage with a lot of anxiety and trepidation.

The magic moment arrived and I did exactly what a headstrong idiot would do. I spoke in impeccable English about my sense of pride in being a PP and how I would make sure that we preserve the culture and the PP-ness of us all. Duh!

Of course I didn't win. A better looking, Marathi speaking, airhostess did. I was very glad for her, but the disappointment of my mother was too much for me to take.

Did she actually expect me to win?

India Reloaded - Vacationing In Singapore

2005-04-14T07:12:00.000+05:30

That title sounded funny. After living in Singapore for 8 years, what is the one spot I choose to come and vacation in - Singapore. Duh!

Well it is not so dumb. I think it helped me to respect the place that I had come to take for granted. The safety, the security, the seafood - just the predictability of things.

Besides we have to celebrate Arya's birthday party here with all of her friends. I met up with a few of my friends and I was reassuring them that they are not missing out on anything by not participating in "India shining" The media is just all hype. India still has a long way to go to measure up to Singapore. And truth always hurts.

What are the things I loved about India - The warmth of the people, the kindness and hospitality, the ease with which conversations took place between perfect strangers, the opportunities that I got in my school and college, the places that I could visit, the food that I could eat, all different, all delicious. Most of all, I enjoyed the sense of association, the sense of belongingness.

Now I am different - I no longer find people warm, kind and hospitable - the national greed overwhelms me, at every point, people want to be overpaid or bribed. Schools and Colleges are part of the racket. They spew out venom and take in only kids who's parents can afford Donations - which are cleverly disguised as Admission or Registration fees. Getting from one point to another in Bangalore is such an ordeal, that one simply does not have the strength to go from one city to another. My food preferences have changed - ever since my palate has widened and I no longer find Indian food the most fabulous (although my preference for Indian sweets will live on forever). But the fact is that there are other cuisines which I find delicious and they are simply not available in India. As for the sense of association or the sense of belongingness - it's just not there. I don't belong. Not anymore.
I am starting to sound like Jhumpa Lahiri, so I better cut it out - NOW!

All about Arya - Teaching a lefthander to play Badminton and go Bowling

2005-04-02T21:57:00.000+05:30

It's a tough enough job to teach a left-handed child to write when you are right-handed, but since Arya decided to be ambidextrous, I didn't have to worry too much.

But recently I took it upon myself to teach her Badminton and it was a constantly frustrating exercise for both of us. However, we were determined to keep at it day after day and she bravely tried to mirror all my serves and swings and backhands and then after about 20 days there came a day today that she could actually return my serves and serve by herself too. Badminton champ she is not, but I am proud of the way she just wouldn't accept defeat.

I had taken her bowling too some days ago and conveniently forgot that she was left-handed, so I kept showing her the correct position and the correct grip and where to aim and how. She kept throwing gutterball after gutterball and accused the ball of being too heavy. It was only after my friend Candy who was with us that day, asked me - Isn't she left-handed? that it struck me like lightning that I was expecting too much out of her poor sore right hand.

Since then, whenever i visit a bowling alley, I keep a close watch on left-handers to see their technique.

It kind of makes me realize why people force their left-handed kids to use the right-hand instead. Well someone told me that left-handers have a natural advantage in golf - so the next thing that I have to do is start her on golf and who knows, we may just have a Tigress Wood on the way.

All About Arya - You Notti

2005-04-02T21:28:00.000+05:30

This was way back when Arya was just 2 years old. She had learned two things - sometimes she was a good girl and at other times she was naughty, or notti (tti pronounced as the word for "her" in marathi)
To our amusement, she would pick herself up when she would fall and call the ground 'notti', when it rained while she was enjoying herself in the playground, she would look at the sky and say 'notti', the TV would be called 'notti' if her fat little fingers weren't able to press the remote power on button, if a biscuit fell out of her hand, she would just look at it with a great deal of frustration and say - you guessed it - notti!

Kushal found this very amusing and so he started teasing her and calling her notti whenever it caught his fancy. This used to make her really angry and she would fly into a rage and say - YOU Notti - to which he would reply with the same fervour - it's you who's notti, only to enrage her further and further till her anger drove her to tears.

Poor thing, she had only a limited vocabulary back then. So everything around her was just notti. Today things range from the mildly crazy to idiotic to horrible, terrible, miserable and extremely bad. She often rolls up her eyes skywards and tells me that the food can't be called bad, it's just tasteless, or tastes awful. Mumma, don't say it's "not good" to touch stray animals - Say that they aren't clean so wash your hands afterwards. Mumma, why do you say your teeth will become 'kharab' if you don't brush, just say that they will decay. The list goes on.

Of course, I miss the fat little cherubic toddler who simply said - You Notti!

India Reloaded - Citibank India Stinky Poo!

2005-04-02T21:20:00.000+05:30

Those of you who read my blog and thought that Citibank sucks - think again! It actually STINKS.

Thanks to the original mess-ups I have had my account open in Dec, operational since Feb. I finally got a hold of my internet password and managed to even log in. But when I eagerly went to check out my account statement, it said - Please register to read your statements online. Are they so dumb at Citibank that they have no idea that people who sign up for an internet password would need to access their statement online.

Needless to say, Citibank neither sends me a statement by post, nor by email, and now it wonders whether I want to register to read my statement online. HelllllOoooooo, this is my money we are talking about. Have I no right to know what Citibank is doing with my money without signing up zillions of times and answering gazillions of questions? Is there something wrong with me? Does the rest of the world believe in trust and faith? Will Citibank lend me money based on the same trust and faith that they keep my money without ever bothering to send me a tiny little inkling on what transactions are happening in MY bank account?

Anybody in their right mind, still signing up for a Citibank account???

India Reloaded - Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

2005-03-27T20:52:00.000+05:30

Bangalore – The population ranges from the mildly rich to the extremely prosperous. Most IT bigwigs get paid obscene salaries and they spread the goodness around resulting in obscene salaries for their drivers and maids as well. I see a cellphone in every hand, unfailingly. Every new condominium which comes up for booking gets lapped up instantaneously. Money is being spent, no burnt.

I went to the I-Bar at The Park Hotel. Many of the city’s movers and shakers were present of course and more poured in as the night progressed. The bar was overflowing with people demanding booze at a faster rate than the bartenders could supply. The dance floor took a while to warm up but once we started, there was no stopping the crowd. Everywhere designer shoes, designer clothes, designer bags – I wondered whether I was the one from Singapore here. I seemed to be too ordinary. Someone stopped me and asked whether my bag was an Aigner original. I earnestly nodded yes to gain that instant look of acceptance into the hoi-polloi. When the lady turned away to talk to someone else, I confessed to my colleague that I had bought my Aigner original for all of S$35 at a Rock Bottom price sale.

The disco crowd of course gets younger every day and it was distressing to see 14 year olds (or perhaps they were 12) smoking a sickly sweet substance. I wonder what it was, but it made my head spin and I had to get off the dance floor.

Outside, I looked at the line of cars. All big. I think I must be the only senior manager in Bangalore who owns a puny Santro. But compared to my life in Singapore where I didn’t even own a car, I am doing good (I think)

Then I was at a birthday party with Arya today evening. Again, the prosperity is so in your face. This was a luxurious 3 bedroom flat with a lovely terrace garden with actual artificial grass laid out all over. I hadn’t stopped reeling from that fact when the women with their sparkling diamonds chirped all around me, only interested in the fact that I was from Singapore. Every man of every age was wearing a pink shirt. I was wondering why that was, when it suddenly occurred to me that it was a fairyland theme. I can’t imagine for the life of me – the Indian men in Singapore complying with the rules if they involve wearing a pink shirt. I am tempted to try it out with Arya’s next birthday party.
Everywhere I look, people are withdrawing thousands of rupees from ATMs, spending thousands on meals (and they are not all expense accounts), squandering away tens of thousands on holidays, clothes, what not!An Indian girl who’s lived in Singapore for a longish time went to Delhi to shop for her wedding trousseau. She came back in a state of shock saying that while she was hesitating about what to pick and checking out the price tags (despite the fact that she was earning in Singapore $), it was shocking to see locals not batting an eyelid while shelling out upwards of INR 50000 (SGD 2000 approx) for their wedding dress (something that you end up wearing only once in your life). I couldn’t relate to it then, but you bet I can now.

Junya Athvani - 1

2005-03-15T07:30:00.000+05:30

3 years after my brother Atul was born, my mom was pregnant again, and this time, I told her I wanted a sister, no matter what. She told me that such things are not under our control, etc,etc.

However, I was 6 years old then, and started thinking of creative ways in which I could indeed influence God to give me a sister. I used to be an avid reader of Amar Chitra Katha and I found out that Aditi is the name of the mother of all the Gods. So I started bribing God (at that age) in my daily prayers, every morning and every night, for almost all the 9 months saying that God should give me a sister and I will name her Aditi in honour of God's mom.

So when a sister was born, of course my joy knew no bounds and I felt complete, now I had a sis in addition to a mom, a dad, a bro. All relations in the family. When the day was decided for my sister's naming ceremony, my mom told me that our Atya (dad's sis) will decide the name, just as she did for me and my bro. That's when I went into panic mode, yeh toh maine socha hi nahi. The moment my Atya arrived at home, I got her to my room, she told me she had no time to play with me, and that she had to discuss the names she had so carefully researched with my parents for their approval. This is where I had my first debate (never knew I was setting the stage for many debating competitions in future) I put forth so many arguments on why my sis should be named Aditi that my Atya was completely bowled over but she said - "Baghu, ata tu zaa tayaar ho"Then she went and told my parents that this time the name was a total secret and she wasn't gonna discuss it with anyone.

My mom told her I was counting on the name being Aditi but it's ok, it didn't matter. I was crying, telling God that I am really Sorry, I can't keep the promise I made, my atya wasn't going to listen to me. I was shit scared as to what God would do to me as punishment. Then it was Atya's turn to pass the baby to the my other Atya and she had to whisper her name in her ear- She called out, " Prita, tu sangh, tujhya bahinachanaav kai" Gosh, that must have been one of the happiest moments of my life as I shyly said "ADITI",in full view of 100 odd family and friends.

India Reloaded - Citibank India Sucks!

2005-03-14T07:23:00.000+05:30

First of all, Citibank was recommended by my employer as the default and so I needed to get an account with them whatever happens. They sent one pin to my home address, another to my office address, for about a month I didn't know what was happening and of course I didn't get paid for 2 months, since I didn't have a Citibank account.

Then today I realized that I need a cheque book urgently. Why oh why do they issue only 20 cheques?????? So I went online. My H-Pin didn't work. So I called their customer service to request for a chq book. Now this customer service officer called Jitu asks me for a T-Pin. I tell him I don't have one, it never was issued to me. So he asks me for my last 3 transactions and mind you he wants exact amounts. Add to the fact that their statements are only available ONLINE (duh!) So I tell him patiently, Jitu, didn't I just explain - I don't have my online password which is why I am using the phone to request for a chq book. How will I be able to get online and check for my last 3 transactions?

Simple - It was 5 am in the morning and Jitu said - Madam please go to your nearest ATM and get a mini statement. So just to play along I did. Guess what - the Statement machine did not work - Are you surprised? I was not. I went to their phone and called the customer service hotline again. This time I got a Prashant online. Another smart alec-y idiot, nevertheless, I explained my problem to him and included my conversation with Jitu in it.

Now Prashant told me that he didn't know whether getting the last 3 transactions would solve my problem and why didn't I wait while he called his technician and meanwhile why didn't I log in and request for a chq book.......Grrrrrr!

So finally, I asked him is there a branch I can go to to get a chq book issued and he said I could go to any branch and do it. But I needed to wait till HE asked me the necessary verification questions. Ask him why and he said it's regulatory. After wasting my time some more, he told me that he could not guarantee me a chq book, but he will send a T-Pin to me so that I can call up and apply for an Internet Pin (H-Pin). Again, duh!!! So why don't you just apply for my H-Pin straight away, I asked him, now that you have verified all my details? He says - No madam, this is the procedure. (Don't ask me why)

This is when I just blew my top and let it loose. As part of the verification, he made me go to the ATM and do my last 3 transactions, so that he could have his #$%^*^ last 3 transactions. He also asked me the exact amounts of my last 3 transactions and the exact amount of my salary credited - In this land of the heavy and random tax deductions at source, who the hell knows what salary is credited to their account every month? You can just sit back and pray.

I have already had quite an experience with Citibank Credit Cards. THEY identified me from my salary account and sent a form for me to fill. The guy who came asked me to sign on fields which requested Additional Card. When I refused to do so, he kept insisting. I said, how can I be sure that you will not fill in your own details and take my additional card. Besides I don't need one I am not signing. Then the verification checks. Oh my God - You would have thought they are handing me the key to Fort Knox. Someone landed up at my house to ask for my birthdate (which my father in law didn't know of course). I got 2 calls on my cellphone and 1 call on my home land line and 1 more on my office landline and each time they asked me the doggone same bloody questions.

After my experience with their customer service, I have decided to call it quits with Citibank. So I will be cancelling my card before its arrival (pity I had to go through their stringent security measures). Of course, my salary account is something that I will have to live with, but I will make sure that I do all my transactions in the branch now. They can take their H-Pin and T-Pin and shove them!

Please don't be a Citibank India customer if you can help it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poem - Time (written when I was 14)

2005-03-13T14:07:00.000+05:30

As an infant, I'd eat and sleep
Time would creep
When I was a child, I'd play and fall
Time would crawl
In my teenage laughter and talks
Time walks
When I will be a full-grown woman
Time will run
And faster as the days go by
Time will fly
Soon enough in the daily grind
I will find
Time - it has left me behind!

Poem - Arya ( written when Arya was 1 )

2005-03-13T13:50:00.000+05:30

She believes in fairies
And all my stories
She claps her hands when I dance
And moves to music as if in a trance
She knows just when I need a hug
And when she breaks the coffee mug
She can melt me with a tear or two
As for shocks she's given me a few
One day, she got lost walking on the street
Me n her dad our hearts missed a beat
We searched for her high and low
And found her gazing at the store window
Then once, she fell down and grazed her knee
A drop of her blood I couldn't bear to see
She shook her head at the medicine I had
Mommy, kiss it and make it better, she said
She taught me to give all that I had to give
She made me cry and laugh and live
She turned me into my own mother
Now I wonder how I ever lived without her

Poem - The Splendor of Color

2005-03-13T13:45:00.000+05:30

I still remember the wonderful sight
On her forehead stood a red dot's might
And with her songs cheery and bright
She made all our loads light

I shudder at the sight I missed
When the sun hid behind the miserable mist
And the bangles slid off her desolate wrist
Another rainbow crossed off the list

Her splendor in red was her right
Yet it was snatched away one night
But she didn't give up without a fight
Today how well she carries white!

My Mummy Papa & 30 years

2005-03-12T06:51:00.000+05:30

I wrote this on the occasion of my parents' 30th wedding anniversary:

I woke up this morning feeling really special. It's my parents' 30th wedding anniversary. They have spent 3 decades as man and wife, raising us 3 kids and magically granting our little wishes. On Wednesday, I had 2 final job interviews, and I pressurised both managers to give me an answer by today, because I know that this will be the best anniversary present that they would want-that I still had a job. While walking back home that day, I thought of the many days at Opera House and Amboli, when I stood in front of the Grey Ganapati and shining circular frame of Ambika, looking at one and then the other, beseeching them to help me in my exams, although I hadn't studied regularly, and later, asking them to see me successfully through job interviews and promotions. I thought of all kinds of things then, of the 5 wooden cupboards, the study desk in the gallery, the first Camel geometry box I owned, the Marathi essay Papa wrote for me "majhya unhalya chi sutti" for which I got a remark "mulani aaple nibandh svata lihave", the countless dictations mom used to give me, and how we used to jump on the black sponge bed in the gallery, as if it was a trampoline and how i used to take refuge on that very bed, when I wanted to cry myself to sleep. Infact, I even remembered my first responsibility-to be with Atul on his first day at Santock nursery and KG school, and everybody had a jigsaw puzzle to complete and he just couldn't do his 12 piece puzzle-the last 4 pieces wouldn't fit. Everyone finished and it was time to go home, and he looked tearfully at the teacher, who insisted that he could only go after he had finished. She looked in my direction and said- "I am sure your sister will wait for you to finish" With steely glares from me, and some whispered pointers he did finish, but that was the first time, I got into trouble with my mommy-for getting late. Since then, I fought with her 100 times or more, for challenging her curfews, but it took me a good deal of 22 years to learn that it was all her concern, for her little girl out in the big bad world, which made her raise her voice. I remembered the little girl who used to look at me from the shadows and go back into hiding behind her aiyaa's pallo. Little Aditi, who was Kumta's little darling, and Bappa's gundu. I remember the tearful decision to keep Aditi in Kumta, wasn't an easy one for both my parents to make. There were days of silence, I spoke to neither of them, but I didn't notice as a 6yr old that they weren't speaking to each other either. As I struggled to reach out to my brother and sister, I think I lost touch with my parents, especially Papa, who doted on me, as his Paili beti, dhanachi peti. But they wanted me to set a good example to my siblings, rather than to be the model daughter. When I got my 10th Std result, my Papa came to my school, without any warning, and treated me to Thums Up, my favourite drink. He called his father and said-My daughter scored higher than any Nayak so far. I know it as his proudest moment, it was his result he was holding in his hand, not mine. Mummy's face when Papa was in ICU at Hinduja flashed before me, me giving her the weak reassurance that everything will be OK, she did not know what food or drink went down her throat and I struggled to keep her afloat, she kept talking of Bappa's lethal heart attack, she was in shock then. I saw a shadow of the man who could instill mirth as well as fear in me, attached to life support machines, but with his eyes he told me, he was ok, and he was going to make it. I held his hand when his parents died one after the other. It was the first time, I had seen my Papa cry, Aji's Ballu, whom she always had a special - Ballu Neet zaa for, and he always said Yeto never zato to her, and taught us to say the same. The Chinese dinners, the games of Rummy, and Trade and Scrabble, the movies at Super and Central, the Republic and Independence day picnics with Prakashkaka's family, visits to Mithibai, all those Mudkavi and Kothare jokes, shopping at Linking Road and treats to Friendly ice-cream, always strawberry, always cones. And when I got married, my Papa cried again, as he hugged me Byebye, his little girl, whose hair he used to dry and set with the white hair dryer, but only after he had vigorously rubbed my hair with a towel, and I had said "aa-aa-aaa-aa--a--a" My mummy's fervent prayers when I was operated for a cyst, her look of utter relief when the doc read the report and said it wasn't cancer, her stories of how difficult it was giving birth to me, and how I had never fallen sick ever, so why this hospitalisation now? My M.S.S paper, and how she half carried me in a deliriously high fever to my final B.E. exams, and waited for me outside for 4 hours, praying every moment of the time. Over the years, I have said many things to them, both good and bad, but I have never thanked them for always staying together, and giving me the joy of both parents, and always encouraging me to find my own true love for leading a life as inseperable as theirs has been. Congratulations Mummy and Papa for 30 years together, and here's wishing you happiness and sunshine always.

Anuprita

Short Story - My friend Radhe

2005-03-11T21:05:00.000+05:30

I have known Radhe for a few years now and he must be as ancient as his name sounds. He is rather thin, with thinner hair and wears glasses as he has trouble with his eyesight. In order not to inconvenience anyone on the road, he prefers to walk sideways or just glide away from an animate obstruction rather than just say “Side Please” as they do on the busy streets of the bustling city where I used to live – Mumbai.

The stray dogs of Mumbai panic Radhe and in order to avoid them he constantly crosses the road. The beggars and eunuchs panic him even further and he quickly parts with all his money, throwing it out of his hand into theirs, shrinking from the very thought of their touch.

His voice is barely audible mostly and he has never been able to complete a sentence without being interrupted – I think it is because people can’t tell whether he is speaking at all. Do you think that Radhe minds in the least? Not really, he appears happy to have the strain of conversation being taken off his weary mind.

My friend Radhe has been married for 15 years. His wife is a thin, sickly woman with nervous hands who has a surprisingly shrill and unbearably loud voice as well as a vicious tongue. I think of a lion tamer each time I see her, but then Radhe doesn’t exactly measure up to what we would call a lion. Ahem!

Radhe – you have to wonder how – has successfully produced a child who has been named by the mother of course as Ranavir Rajavir. He is tall, intelligent, sarcastic (especially to his father) and distrustful. Obviously he obeys only his mother and the two of them have decided that Radhe is a burden on this planet and has little to offer the world, so they choose to ignore his rarely expressed opinions.

I think Radhe has worked at the same place for years – a dismal exporter of marble and granite. His boss is a burly old man with strong forearms and he looks as if he could split a stone slab with his bare hands. He regularly gives Radhe a pay cut to subsidize his other employees pay increases or so he says. Radhe’s entreaties are often met with violence. Unable to bear the ferocious looks he gets from his boss, Radhe regularly works late hours in his crumpled old suit. He owns only one suit, the one he had stitched for his wedding 15 years ago. He also has just one tie, which is frayed at every conceivable point along its edges. Since his wife will probably kill him if his shirt gets dirty, he always works with his jacket on.

Just after the burly boss decided to cut Radhe’s salary one more time, his wife has decided that Ranavir Rajavir cannot go to the government polytechnic with such good marks. She has registered him at an expensive institution in a posh Mumbai neighborhood. In view of the additional outlay of funds required, Radhe has stopped buying his daily newspaper and his only monthly luxury, Readers Digest (a considerable sacrifice). His sacrifices could not have been timelier. His wife has recently exhorted all the neighborhood wives on how they should train their husbands to suppress their overwhelming desires in order to provide for the family.

That is Radhe for you – docile, dumb and depressing. You wonder, could there be anything remarkable about this man. Well, wait till you see him get on the crowded Mumbai suburban train network.

Here is what happens:

He wants to buy a ticket everyday. He stands at the ticket window before it opens. Then he fumbles with his change for as long as he wants, especially when the hollering starts from those in the queue behind him. Invariably he will hand at least one outdated coin which is no longer in use. He will also make sure that he never has the exact change despite paying with the largest number of small denomination coins, always delivering a few at a time. He seems to derive mild pleasure from the ticket clerk’s exasperation. When the guy starts shouting, Radhe in his usual serene manner starts inaudibly muttering about his rights, presenting arguments so contradictory that no one really understands what point he is trying to make. He usually succeeds in getting a ticket without ever paying the full fare, because the ticket clerk just wants to get rid of him the minute he sees his face at the ticket window.

Once on the train, Radhe has the penchant of opening the windows if it is raining and closing them when it is not. All the other passengers who admonish him to do otherwise are met with a silent steely stare. Smoking is not allowed on Mumbai’s trains, but Radhe makes sure that he holds in his hand a cheap beedi, which he lights but does not smoke. This, despite the fact that Radhe himself hates smoking.

I have always known Radhe to be a sedentary person without the slightest interest in sports, but he will switch on his tiny portable transistor radio full blast in order to follow some insipid hockey or football match or even a cookery show, subjecting the fellow passengers to a noisy broadcast full of static as he tunes in to a godforsaken channel. However when people want to hear the latest cricket score, he will pretend the radio has stopped working.

The seats in the train are meant for 3 people, yet the people of Mumbai are accommodating enough to allow a “4th seat” passenger to precariously balance half of his backside as the train journeys are long and arduous. Despite his small size, Radhe will take up the full space he is entitled to – exactly 1/3rd of the long seat. However, when he is the one standing and there are only three people on the seat, he demands his 4th seat and manages to take up an excessive area simply by putting his hands in his pockets and poking his bony elbows into his neighbors’ sides. The few occasions that he has to travel standing, he keeps his jacket unbuttoned, adjusting his height such that the flaps of his jacket hit the face of the seated passengers. He is delighted if someone is reading, he will stand against the window or whatever is the poor fellow’s source of light. As if that is not enough, he will withdraw himself for a brief spell just enough for the reader to open his book again and read a couple of words before Radhe moves back into position.

On the evening rush hour, Radhe makes sure that he is eating a “Bombay sandwich” all through the journey. Then with breadcrumbs and threads of tomato, onion and cucumber hanging from his mouth, he will walk along the length of the compartment saying “Side please”

My friend Radhe gets off the train in a jolly mood. Timidly, he walks home, staying out of the way of anyone he meets. He is not allowed a key, so he has to ring the bell. If anyone is home, they rarely refuse to open the door to him. But if neither his wife nor his son are to be found, Radhe sits on the doorstep until someone arrives.

The Unposted Letter

2005-03-11T07:57:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I came across a letter to a friend that I had forgotten to post. In it, I had chided her for not being "online" and stated that I was doing her a favour by writing a letter instead of the normal email or chat communication that I had with all my other friends.
The letter contained a lot of stuff about my daughter who was just a 1 year old then. Arya and I read it together and it was a barrel of laughs. I had written about how Arya had started walking properly and even running about in short spurts. I had written about how she spoke some words and a whole lot of nonsense. And most importantly, I wrote about a funny incident which somehow I had forgotten - we were all watching a Hindi movie with it's typical fight scene, when Arya leapt into action, jumped off the sofa, attacked my mom with her fists saying "Dishum Dishum". Fond memories came racing back into my mind.
I started scavenging the box in which I had found this letter for more such blasts from the past. The search yielded nothing. But Arya requested me to write letters to all my friends now so that she may discover these several years later and we can have fun reading them. My daughter is a sentimental fool and gladly, so am I.
I remembered with lots of regret, the email box I had set up for her and the emails I used to religiously send to that mailbox hoping that someday she would read all about her first smile and her tiny fingers and the way she looked at me when I caught her with my palmtop which she had removed all the keys of. Her first piano lesson and the first time she was on stage - the list was endless. I forgot to sign into that email account for a month when I was on holiday and hey presto! they erased all that stuff.
Coincidentally, yesterday my brother's friend asked me to write about my recent experiences of moving back to India after living in Singapore for 8 years. He also referred me to this site. I was reluctant at first but discovering the unposted letter and thinking of all the memories which I was flushing down the drain by not recording them anymore (after the unfortunate email incident) made me certain that I definitely wanted to chronicle my life.
So here goes...!